Different Kinds of Love
by WordsHaveThePower
Summary: Ever since she was little, Clary has been a romantic at heart. She comes to realize, however, that maybe love wasn't as pretty as she thought it was when Sebastian starts to get abusive. Caught up in a confusing whirlwind of broken-heartedness, Clary doesn't know how to survive while stuck in love's cruel clutches until she runs into her old friend Simon and his new entourage.


**Author's Note: I've decided to start up a new story that will hopefully help me get out of this writing slump that I've been in. This story, unlike _City of Shattered Hearts_, is all human. I know that stories like this one have been done a million times before, but I hope that you'll enjoy it and give me lots of feedback as you have with _City of Shattered Hearts_. :)**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anything concerning The Mortal Instruments.**_

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><p><strong>Music for this Chapter<strong>

Come and Get Your Love - Redbone

Sail, Unlimited Gravity Remix - AWOLNATION

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Fairytales Lie<strong>

I used to think a lot about love when I was little. For me, there was always only one kind: the one in books. The kind of love you read in dialogue when the princess thanks her prince for saving her from the dragon, or the kind of love the author describes when they share their first and sickeningly magical kiss. I was so excited to grow up and have my storybook love. But a lot of other things take hold of you when you grow up, and a lot of things change. I realized there were different kinds of love. There was the type of love that kept your father away from your mother so that nothing else would happen to the rest of your family. There was the type of love that was hidden beneath every brushstroke in my paintings and every charcoal line in my drawings. There was the type of love that made Jonathon ruffle my hair and tease me every night like we were little kids again. And then there was the type of love that Sebastian had for me. I suppose I should be grateful to have his affection. That's what Sebastian always yells at me. But, deep down, I know that love is not supposed to leave bruises on my wrists and arms. Love is not supposed to poke me in the side and whisper in my ear that I need to lose weight. Love is not supposed to suck me away from all of my friends and keep me from living the life that I had wanted. It's too late now though. As much as I may hate it sometimes, I love Sebastian, and he loves me, and that's all I had wanted as a kid. I'm too afraid to give all that up because maybe I'm being too wimpy about it.

The alarm blares loudly and draws me out of my mind. I quickly get dressed and prep myself for the first day of Junior year. Throwing on jeans and another t-shirt from a band I don't really listen to anymore, I grab my backpack and wait downstairs for Sebastian to pick me up. Sometimes I miss when Simon would wait by the front door and walk with me to school. I miss his dorky glasses and nerdy t-shirts, and I miss the way he would make me laugh whenever he tried to be flirtatious with random girls walking down the streets of New York and ultimately failing. Our friendship was something I wouldn't have traded for the world, but Sebastian obviously didn't mind letting Simon know that he didn't appreciate me hanging out with another guy. I know Sebastian meant well, but Simon's never been one for conflict and hasn't talked to me since the Christmas break of last year. We've only had a few classes together since then, and a chance to strike up a conversation again never really appeared.

Suddenly, an obnoxious car horn honked and had me flying out of the front door with my backpack. Sebastian was already waiting outside of the car for me, holding the passenger door open. A big smile crept onto my face as I walked closer to him.

"Morning, Clary," Sebastian said, closing the small gap between us and pressing his lips to mine. I pulled away quickly but wrapped my arms around his waist to keep from hurting his feelings. Sebastian was extremely handsome, don't get me wrong. His dark hair fell just over his black eyes, and he was a good foot taller than me. His chiseled features contrasted perfectly with his dark features, but there was something about Sebastian that always scared me just a little. He had an air of intimidation and command around him, and he would make sure everyone listened to him. Kissing him didn't ever feel like it was supposed to. Wasn't I supposed to get all fluttery and cheesy inside? Her heart was supposed to beat faster, wasn't it? Her heart was beating faster, but more in the jumpy beat associated with nerves and anxiety. Maybe it was just because it was the first day of school.

"Good morning. Are you excited for school?" I said as I climbed into the car.

"Not particularly. Getting up early? Not really my thing," Sebastian replied with a small smile. "But it does mean I get to show off my hot, red-headed girlfriend, so that makes up for it." Taking one hand off the steering wheel, he reached out and grabbed one of my hands with his. My heart responded properly this time, leaping with excitement at his romantic gesture. Definitely just first day nerves.

"Gonna try out for the football team again?"

Sebastian laughed at this, causing my cheeks to turn a light pink color. "Already on the football team, Clare. You should know that, we've been practicing all summer."

I sank further into the seat of the car, silently drowning in embarrassment. Why was it I always made a fool of myself in front of Sebastian? "Oh."

"Don't be embarrassed. And don't slouch like that, it makes you look bigger than you are," he said as he parked in his usual parking spot and flashed a smile at the typical bimbos who conveniently waited near this exact spot. It seemed that was one thing that hadn't magically changed over the summer. They giggled and waved flirtatiously at him, and Sebastian winked in return. I felt my insides churn with anger at his unashamed flirting.

"I don't see why you have to egg them on," I muttered, but unfortunately it was loud enough for Sebastian to hear.

His eyes immediately flicked to gaze at me, and the black depths were filled with annoyance and a slight hint of anger. "What did you just say?"

"Nothing," was my immediate response, and I knew right away that was the wrong thing to say. His fists clenched together and his jaw tightened with agitation.

"Clary," he said flatly, and jumped out of the car. His door slammed shut and I flinched at the sound. Too soon my door was being flung open and I was being dragged out right along Sebastian. His hand gripped my wrist and I knew I would have to cover it with makeup the next morning. He stopped at a secluded corner behind the school and swung me around the face him. My shoulder ached from being dragged about and I prayed that no one had seen us. "Who the hell do you think you're talking to?" Sebastian demanded. "I'm your boyfriend, for God's sake, and you need to treat me like one! I don't want anymore of this mumbling shit, not for the rest of the year. I deserve respect, Clarissa, and if you don't agree with that than I am more than willing to end things right now."

I felt numb. Not because what Sebastian said was hurtful and crude, though it was, but because I had heard it so many times that I knew it was true. "Sebastian, please, not here, okay?" I said, and I cursed myself for my voice coming out weak and shaky. I was such a pansy. "There are people around. And you know I love you Sebastian, and I don't want to break it off. I'll treat you with more respect because I really do respect you. I guess I'm just tired and nervous for the first day back to school, and that's why I got agitated so easily."

Thankfully, Sebastian seemed sated at my words and let go of my wrist. I blew out a soft breath in relief, and tried to get my body to calm down. I could feel my hands trembling slightly and I knew if Sebastian saw he would get even more furious. Crossing my arms, I offered Sebastian a smile before kissing his cheek. "Love you, Sebastian. I gotta get to class, but I'll see you at lunch." Without waiting to gauge a reaction, I walked as calmly as I could to the front of the school and in through the doors. I headed straight to the girls' bathroom, not making contact with anyone for fear I would give it all away.

As soon as I reached the bathroom, I ran into a stall and locked it shut. Sebastian had never been like that at school. He'd always made sure to be the kind, caring person that he was at school and save the more furious and intimidating version of himself for home, where no one would judge him for it. I knew he was stressed and wanted to be the "perfect student," but he had never dared to lay a hand on me like that in public. was it going to be like this all year? Was it all going to get worse?

With a shaking hand, I pulled out my schedule from my backpack. Pre-Calculus was my first period, which meant it started in five minutes. I took a few deep breaths before opening the stall door and rushing to my locker, keeping my head down the whole way in case I wasn't able to hide the fear that was creeping its way up my spine. Unfortunately, this meant I wasn't exactly watching where I was going and ran head first into someone's arms. They wrapped quickly around my waist and kept me from hitting the floor rather ungracefully, but my heart sunk when I felt the familiar embrace. I lifted my head to meet the surprised eyes of Simon Lewis, my once-upon-a-time best friend who I hadn't talked to in a long time. Apparently, he was willing to change that.

"Are you alright, Clary?" he said, and I never really realized how much I had missed him until he started talking in that understanding voice of his. I wanted nothing more than to fling my arms around his neck and demand that we have another Avengers marathon Saturday, but I had made Sebastian angry enough for one day.

"I'm fine," I whispered, but that didn't even begin to cover anything.

"She doesn't really look fine, Simon. Look how pale she is. Maybe we should take her to the nurse or something," said another voice behind Simon, and I turned my neck to see four other people watching me with concern. Well, make that three watching with concern and one watching with an annoyingly amused look plastered to his face. Then my heart sank when I realized that these people must be Simon's new friends. Of course he has moved on.

"She's always been pale, Isabelle. Comes with the hair," Simon joked, and I grinned at the light teasing. It felt like nothing had changed with us, and yet so much had. I studied the girl named Isabelle, and came to the heart-wrenching and ego-killing realization that she was gorgeous. She had black hair and eyes like Sebastian, but hers sparkled with a certain compassion and liveliness that maybe Sebastian's never would. I quickly scanned over the rest of the crowd, and noticed that they looked like the ragtag bunch of friends that I had always wanted in high school. One was clearly related to the Isabelle girl, but he had bright blue eyes instead of Isabelle's muddy color. A tall and extravagantly sparkly boy stood next to him, and his eyes were what caught Clary's attention. They were the oddest yellow color with a pupil so small it made them look like a cat's. I knew they were probably contacts, but I would give anything to draw them. If the cat eyes had caught my attention, however, than the golden boy standing slightly behind the group blew my mind away. He was everything that Sebastian was not. Where Sebastian was dark, he was light. He had slightly curly blond hair and eyes so amber they looked like liquid gold, and for the second time within a minute that day I wished I had brought my sketchbook with me. There was also something vaguely familiar about him, causing questions to run through my head faster than a cyclist competing in the Tour de France.

What brought me out of my reverie, however, was the cold feeling on the back of my neck, and I quickly turned to see Sebastian's gaze locked on mine. Reminding me of where I was and why exactly I hadn't seen Simon in forever, I tossed a weak smile to Simon. "I have to go," I said, and fleeted to the Pre-Calculus classroom. Setting my books down on the desk, I slumped into the chair and put my head on the desk, wondering how on earth I would make it through this year alive.


End file.
